An eyelash curler that’ll make your eyelashes curl.

June was my original partner on Chic Critique.  She got extraordinary busy and had
to bow out, but her posts are still in the archives.  Seriously, if you
have time, you should go back and read ALL of them because they are
laugh-out-loud funny and informative as well.  With Megan on maternity
leave, I thought I would pull one of June’s posts from the archives to
share with you today.  This is one of my favorites.

I do not have long, luxurious eyelashes. They are more short,
convenient eyelashes. I mean, they keep foreign objects out like they
are supposed to, but fancy they aren’t.

If my eyelashes were a hotel, they’d totally be the Ramada, not the Four Seasons.

This is why I am willing to spend 50 million dollars on an eyelash
curler. I mean, I can’t find a mascara I like, so at least I can curl
the pee out of them, right?

I never even knew there WERE expensive eyelash curlers until I
worked with this woman who I really didn’t like very much, but she had
really nice eyes. She was a single mom with five kids, and she was
really, really, really careful with her appearance. It worked, because
eventually she married someone and had TWO MORE KIDS with him while I
worked with her.

Not that she gave birth in the office, but you know what I mean.

The POINT of this convoluted story is to tell you she had this huge
makeup case she’d bring to work every day, and she owned (I am not
kidding) every single color of eye shadow that MAC makes.

For some reason, one day she was without her eyelash curler, and as
she sat in the lobby of our office, blatantly putting on eye makeup
during work, she asked if she could use my eyelash curler. Trying not
to be an only child, I tried not to think of impetigo as I handed her
the Maybelline eyelash curler I had used since 1979.

"Oh. If that’s all you’ve got, forget it," she told me.

This is kind of like the time a girl in college asked if I had any
pearls she could borrow, and when I got out my strand from Clare’s
Boutique, she said forget it, and I said, "What? They’re ROUND." Like
that was all you need in a pearl.

The woman at work who I didn’t like very much explained to me that
Shiseido made a to-die-for eyelash curler and it made all the
difference in the world. If you think I didn’t fake a sudden onset of
food poisoning and leave work to head straight for the Shiseido
counter, you do not know your critical pal June very well.

The woman I didn’t like was RIGHT. I mean, your lashes get CURLED.
The grip is really firm, and I don’t mean in a painful way. The Shiseido Eyelash Curler
costs $17.50, which I know is probably three times as much as a
drugstore one, but it is worth it. You can have an eyelash curler
forever, you know, all you have to do is replace the pads.

Of course, I didn’t keep mine forever. I moved up in the world and bought the Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler for $19.00.

I think what must have happened is I thought I lost the Shiseido one
or something, and so I bought the Shu Uemura, because now I have both
and they are, frankly, interchangeable. If anyone has any feelings on
which of these expensive tools are better, please comment. In the
meantime, I will bat my very curly lashes at you.

June blogs regularly at Bye Bye Pie.